Today I would like for us to consider the strength of our commitment to ourselves. As a sister, cousin, girlfriend, wife, mother, friend, frenemy, church member, colleague, employee, entrepreneur, community leader and dynamic diva, I have been reflecting on many mama-isms about relationships, pleasing others, being the jill of all trades and queen of none and the age old, “if you have nothing to say, don’t say anything at all.” But what I am realizing is that when we say nothing about our needs, our wants, our visions, our plans, our expectations, then we put other people before us and we forsake ourselves.
As a former domestic relations diva, I was able to spot whether some relationships were dead on arrival and when others were fixable based on the initial conversation with all interested persons. As a networking diva, I watch people come in and out of networks based on whether or not the circle can boost their networth. Similarly, I have watched people go in and out of churches, jobs, social groups and support groups based on whether or not their needs have been met. Most often the aggrieved party never shares what they’ve been think, wanting, hoping and expecting in regards to their needs for love, attention, acceptance and appreciation. Or if they did, no one heard them because they were too busy rushing off to yet another meeting, yet another event or too busy on their own journey scratching, surviving, chasing, pursuing and hunting for the possibility and achievability of their own dreams.
I once heard someone say, “To thine ownself be true” and I never knew what that statement meant until most recently. As I grow wiser, I am learning to shift my focus from the needs of others to what I need. Yes, so different from the lessons we learned from our mothers but if we learn to shift from they to ourselves, then we can learn to accept and appreciate that our peace, joy and happiness is within. And by focusing on what is deep down on the inside, what God hid in our hearts, our gifts, talents and abilities, we discover that “the kingdom of heaven is within” and that no one can appreciate our brilliant radiance if we don’t love it enough to nurture it, cultivate it, protect it, share it and treasure it. Be encouraged, the quality of the life you want to live is based on how much you are true to you.
Toni Moore, Esquire, is a speaker, writer and motivator who encourages women and girls to love more, live more and become more on purpose. Twitter @ToniDivamoment
Toni Moore, Esq.
Toni is an attorney and business coach who is committed to helping women uplevel their success.
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