Trust me, I was good when I held my peace and allowed the Holy Spirit to convince me to turn the other cheek by walking away from another person's threatening response to my question. However, after I realized another woman had personally attacked me, I stepped back, shook my head, raised my nicely arched eyebrow, pursed my pink coated lips and flashed back to those back in the day moments when I felt comfortable doing what I wanted to do and saying what I wanted to say without a care in the world about the who, what, where, why, repercussions or aftermath of my emotionally charged verbal time bombs. To give a peak beneath God's Graceful Covering, I once lived my day to day as a hurt person who had been hurt by others, disappointed, lied to and pushed aside so often for so many years that I avenged those past hurts by unloading my venom whenever I had the chance because hurt people hurt other people. The second reason I said what I wanted without a care in the world is because I wasn't happy about my past, was living my life as a victim of experiences and circumstances and wasn’t looking forward to the future. Thus resulting in me living in the moment so when people took me there I verbally went in and afterwards licked my wounds in the stillness of my home.
Thankfully, because of my love, acceptance and belief in Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior from she who used to be, this Saved and Sassy Diva appreciates where I have been, my strengths, weaknesses, limitations, the Serenity Prayer and newfound acceptance of Emotional Logistics in the All of Things.
What the what, what, you ask?
Emotional Logistics is a term I use that encompasses the belief that I am more than a conqueror because I have been fearfully and wonderfully made by God as an emotional creature who has bouts of ups and downs, gives a lot, laughs out loud, honors, cherishes, respects and expects a lot in return to a fault. However, my logical, practical side reminds me to be aware of the facts and circumstances of the context, the surroundings, the scenery, other people's emotional responses, the fact that there is a time and place for everything and that some things just cannot be changed.
Toni Moore is the Founding President of Diva Moment, Inc., an attorney, writer and speaker who promotes the Step Up & Step Out in HEELS Campaign that encourages women and girls to live their life in confidence despite life issues and circumstances.
Wow, a lot happened in seconds, because when I looked up I found myself asking my co-worker about her motivations for threatening and attacking me despite my best efforts. She didn’t have a response because of where she is in her life journey. So I walked away and troubled by the fact that I could have gone there so wondered what, if anything, I could do about the thorn in my side just in case someone pushed against it again.
While I should have gone to God in prayer to unload my emotions and seek out His ordered steps, I went to one of my inspirational co-workers who often speaks Godly words of wisdom in the hopes of finding some guidance out of a seemingly dark place. While my inspirational co-worker claims she heard my cry, she decided to use my weak moment to advise me about a beam in my eye by bringing up an interaction that happened years before and to unload some misgivings she had about a random issue that had nothing to do about nothing. Thank God for a changed mind because some days more than one person can take me back to the old landmark, to the place where I first found the Lord….
Despite her response, I had to choose whether to have the mind of Christ in all things, give into to my old ways or allow my sassy side to show up and show out. You see, the old, explicative slaying, hurt me would have unleashed a response like no other but would have later needed to figure out how to eat those words when I saw my inspirational co-worker the very next day. The sassy side of me wanted to dry my eyes and then school my inspirational co-worker about the fact that she should have been more forthcoming about those things of the past and instead allowed herself to serve as a conduit of God's love in my time of need but that would have sparked another heated moment in the workplace. Instead of adding further disruption to the workplace, I nodded and smiled and reminded myself about Emotional Logistics and recalled that weeping may endure for a night, but God's grace was sufficient for me. Later while I lying in green pastures (i.e. sleeping), God reminded me all was not lost because two people had shown me who they truly were and I had allowed Christ’s power to keep a careful watch on every word I spoke in the All of things.
Toni Moore, Esq.
Toni is an attorney and business coach who is committed to helping women uplevel their success.
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